ITS VS. IT'S

Don't make this one harder than it is.

ITS is possessive and only refers to something that belongs to IT.

IT'S is only a contraction for IT IS or IT HAS.  

That's IT.

You don't use an apostrophe for the possessives of other PRONOUNS, do you? Then don't use an apostrophe for IT either. IT is a pronoun as well.

Other PRONOUNS and their possessive forms:

I              my; mine           Where is my jacket?

you          your; yours        Where is your jacket?

he            his                     Where is his jacket?

she          her; hers            Where is her jacket?

IT            ITS                     Where is ITS leash?

we           our; ours            Where are our jackets?

you all      your; yours        Where are your jackets?

Yes, you use an apostrophe to form the possessive of someone's name (Jack's jacket). But someone's name is a proper noun and not a PRONOUN. Do not use apostrophes to form plurals of PROUNOUNs.

The squirrel tried ITS luck at the bird feeder.

Every dog has ITS day.

The committee has reached ITS decision. 

One way to test whether you need an apostrophe or not is to see if you can replace the word with his or her (which don't have apostrophes either!). "Every dog has his day" is fine. You don't need an apostrophe with "his," so don't use it for ITS, either.


When you want to write "it is" or "it has," then use IT'S.  IT'S only means IT IS or IT HAS.

IT'S going to rain today.         IT IS going to rain today.

IT'S not my problem.             IT IS not my problem.

IT'S been raining all day.        IT HAS been raining all day. 

Really, that's IT! If you're unsure if you need an apostrophe, simply test by replacing ITS/IT'S with "IT IS" or "IT HAS." If IT IS or IT HAS fits into your sentence, then use IT'S. If IT IS or IT HAS doesn't work for your sentence, then use ITS.

ITS / IT'S been a long time.    

             IT HAS been a long time. That's fine. Use IT'S.

The dog was chasing ITS / IT'S  tail.

             The dog was chasing IT IS tail.   Doesn't work. Use ITS.

We couldn't find the wounded deer because ITS / IT'S footprints were washed away.

             ....because IT IS footprints were washed away.    Doesn't work. Use ITS. 

Now go find an online quiz and practice. Remember, IT'S (IT IS) just not that difficult!

LIE vs. lay

I can make this one easy as well: Stop using the words "lay," "lays," and "laying". Just stop it.

     Yes, of course that's too simplistic, but you rarely need those words.

To be more specific, ONLY use "lay" where you could also use "put".

I want to lay down.       I want to put down.       

     (Doesn't work. Use LIE)    I want to lie down.

While I was laying on the beach...      While I was putting* on the beach...

     (Doesn't work. Use LYING.)    While I was lying on the beach...

Fido! Go lay down!      Fido! Go put down!

     (Doesn't work. Use LIE.)     Fido! Go lie down! 

My ___ is so lazy. He just lays around all day!    My ___ is so lazy. He just puts around all day!

     (Doesn't work. Use LIES.)    He just lies around all day!

You can lay your coat on the chair over there.   You can put your coat on the sofa over there.

     (This one is fine. Go ahead and use LAY.)   

You see, the word "lay" requires a direct object, just like the word "put" does. That means you must lay SOMETHING somewhere, just like you have to put SOMETHING somewhere. You can't just put.

    You can lay a baby in a crib.
    You can lay a coat on a chair.
    You can lay yourself down to sleep and pray the Lord your soul to keep.
    You can lay the book you just finished reading on the coffee table.

But you can't just lay. In the above sentences, the direct object (the thing you are putting or laying somewhere) is underlined.

*By "putting" I mean "placing," not the golf term.

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Advanced course

Yes, sadly, the simple past tense form of "lie" is "lay". So the sentence "Yesterday I lay on the sofa for three hours" is correct. But why would you want to admit that? Why would you tell people where you were lying yesterday? They don't care.

Less vs. fewer

With the words "less" and "fewer" we have another common mistake in American English. The problem is easily fixed and has only to do with singular and plural nouns.

Here's the rule:

Use "less" with singular nouns, and use "fewer" with plural nouns.

That's it. I can't think of an easier way to phrase that, nor can I think of any exceptions.

Examples of singular nouns:
  time
  money
  patience
  rain

Examples of plural nouns:
  hours
  coins
  patients
  storms

I have less time now than I did when I was young.

It seems like there are fewer hours in the day to accomplish my to-do list.

She has less money than he does.

I have fewer coins in my piggy bank than I did last week.

My mom has less patience than my dad.

If my doctor had fewer patients, I wouldn't have to wait so long.

We get less rain here than they get in Washington.

There are fewer storms on this side of the mountains. 

These two words are not interchangeable. You cannot have fewer time or less hours. I've not heard anyone make the first mistake, but the second is common.

Our neighbor has less fewer flowers in her garden this year than she did last year.

 See? Good grammar doesn't have to be difficult!

U ≠ YOU!

This is another instance where I would advise you to STOP doing this in text messages, emails, on social media, and any other forum where you think it's ok. If you are over the age of 16, this is especially not ok. If you're under 16, it's a bad habit to start. If you are 16-18, I attribute it to laziness and/or a short attention span. Yes, I have seen this in formal essays students have turned in for a grade, which makes me wonder if students surely know they shouldn't use this "abbreviation" in college essays or on job applications.

If you are an adult, write like one.

Do what you want when you're writing or sending text messages privately to friends and family, but when you write publicly, please be a good example to others.

If you don't have time to type or text the two additional letters required for the pronoun "you", perhaps now is not the best time to be sending a message at all.

I certainly realize this makes me sound old-fashioned. My problem is that the American English language was rotting well enough before this trend started. This habit did not begin because people didn't know what was correct usage. It began with a deliberate decision stemming from laziness.

"Hey! I don't have to go through the effort of thumb-typing Y-O-U! 'Cuz 'U' sounds just like "you," and therefore I can skip two letters! Oh my god, that is SO cool!"

This also reinforces the common ideas that "spelling doesn't matter" and "The important thing is to get my point across," which probably arose out of Whole Language instruction.  When I read sentences, text messages, posters, advertisements, etc. in which the letter U is supposed to represent the pronoun "you," I am not interested in the writer's "point" at all.

And just for the record, if you are over the age of 16...
  ur ≠ your or you're
  r ≠ our or are
  r u  ≠ are you

Please use our language with style and intelligence. Don't be the person who is used as the example for how NOT to communicate.

Literally? I doubt it.

What is it with this word? Why do so many people use it nowadays where it doesn't make any sense? It does not emphasize your point and make your listeners more impressed with whatever you're saying. It makes it seem like you don't understand the meaning of the word "literally".

That class was so boring it was literally torture having to sit there.

Really?  Are you sure? Did you get thumb screws? Bamboo picks slammed under your finger nails?  Oh, I know - the teacher broke every bone in your legs by lifting a large wooden wagon wheel and repeatedly slamming it down on you as you lay spread-eagle tied to four stakes!  I just read a book set in the Middle Ages which included two scenes involving torture, and I assure you that forcing the unfortunate criminal to sit in a class at school was not one of the methods used.

That experiment literally blew my mind!

Eww. And still, like Humpty Dumpty in his dreams, somehow someone put you back together? That must have been ugly business.  "Blew my mind" is fine - there's nothing wrong with such figures of speech, until you add the word "literally".  Stop it.

Teenspeak: I am literally starving!

I don't like the use of this word to mean "rather hungry" with so many people in the world actually starving. If you are reading this on a laptop, Ipad, Smartphone, etc., you are not - and likely never have been - anything close to starving. Don't be an insensitive dolt. Just because you couldn't get your hands on a Snickers bar during the last two or even four hours - or because you had to skip one meal - doesn't mean you're starving. There is an extended period of "very hungry" before starvation ever becomes a threat.

I literally just wrote four paragraphs about this word.

Now, see? That one's ok, because "literally" means "actually," and I actually wrote four paragraphs. Are you duly impressed? Are you more impressed than if I had only written "I just wrote four paragraphs about this word"?  I doubt it. This word is unnecessary, empty, useless filler. It also does not help when you put aggressive emphasis on the word when saying it, or underlining when writing it.

I literally want you to stop using this word when you want people to take you seriously.

NEVER say "Me and..."!!

This one is easy, friends. Seriously - NEVER SAY "Me and..." no matter what follows the "and". I'll get to "me" vs. "I" in another post. Just get this one down, and never, ever say it. Don't write it either, even or especially on social media.

Me and my brother are going shopping after school.*

Do you want to go with me and Jim?*

I taught in a Catholic high school, and I told my students to "be the good Christian, and put the other guy first." I thought I was being witty and clever, and I was desperate for them to remember this simple rule. (It also sounds nicer than "People who say 'me and' will burn in the fiery pits of hell.") Use it if it works for you.

I would be satisfied enough if the rule ended there and people simply stopped saying "me and". If you don't remember what a subject or direct object of a sentence is, then stick to the above rule. However, readers who already have a good grasp of English grammar will know that there are instances when it does work.

The combination of [me + and] can be used if a comma is - or could be - inserted between them.
For instance:

She called me, and I agreed to meet her for lunch.

My brother punched me, and I punched him back. 

It's also fine in this sentence without a comma:

Me and you are both pronouns.

...but why would you ever need to say that?

 Just don't ever say or write "me and," and no one needs to get hurt.



* The red sentences should be:

My brother and I are going shopping after school.

Do you want to go with Jim and me? 

Present Perfect, Anyone?

I'm going to start by tackling my "favorite" error first to get it off my chest. Every time I hear this one, I want to run over a puppy with my lawn mower.

  I have went there many times.              have GONE
  She has already ran three marathons!   has RUN
  Have you wrote your essay yet?           have WRITTEN

The present perfect is used to indicate a past action that continues today or stopped recently. It's formed by combining the auxilliary verb "has" or "have" (depending on the subject of the sentence - the person who did the action) with the past participle of the verb. On this site, check out the "Note" on the right side to see how to form past participles.

The problem that has been gaining popularity in the U.S. has to do with irregular verbs. Irregular verbs are the ones that change form in the past tense rather than just adding an -ed, such as

drive - drove - (has) driven

write - wrote - (has) written 

go - went - (has) gone 

run - ran - (has) run 

Too many Americans have started using the second column words in the above list - which are the simple past tense forms - when they need the past participles. The simple past is used for an action that occurred and ended in the past.

I drove to the store yesterday.   (simple past tense)

If any of my first three examples sound ok to you, here is the error recreated with verbs that haven't been ruined yet, so you can hear what I hear:

I have did my homework.

We have knew each other for six years. 

She has took that test twice already. 

Have you saw the movie Idiocracy? 

Those sound horribly wrong to you, don't they?*  (Please say they do...)

Sadly, there is no pattern or rule for forming the past participles of irregular English verbs; one "just" needs to learn them. The good news is that you already learned them in grade school, so the work has been did done. (See what I did there?)

If you commonly - or even occasionally - say "I have went," "I should have went," or "I could have went," in the words of Bob Newhart...."STOP it!  Just STOP IT!" You're spreading crappy, rotten, polluted language.  Don't be a part of that.

I just thought of a way for you to check if you're using the correct form of most verbs. Add the word "been" between "have" and your verb. You're wondering if "have wrote" is correct. Add "been": "have been wrote" should sound awful, so you correct it to "have been written."  Therefore, use "have written."  This won't necessarily tell you what the correct form should be, but it will tell you what is wrong.  "The race has been ran," "They have been took," and "I have been went" should send up red flags. Take the time to check.

The above tip doesn't work with "come," but you should already know it's not "have came" because of the camp song "Oh, Susanna" with the line, "I have come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee..."



*Those red sentences above should be:
    I have done my homework.
    We have known each other for six years.
    She has taken that test twice already.
    Have you seen the movie Idiocracy?