LIE vs. lay

I can make this one easy as well: Stop using the words "lay," "lays," and "laying". Just stop it.

     Yes, of course that's too simplistic, but you rarely need those words.

To be more specific, ONLY use "lay" where you could also use "put".

I want to lay down.       I want to put down.       

     (Doesn't work. Use LIE)    I want to lie down.

While I was laying on the beach...      While I was putting* on the beach...

     (Doesn't work. Use LYING.)    While I was lying on the beach...

Fido! Go lay down!      Fido! Go put down!

     (Doesn't work. Use LIE.)     Fido! Go lie down! 

My ___ is so lazy. He just lays around all day!    My ___ is so lazy. He just puts around all day!

     (Doesn't work. Use LIES.)    He just lies around all day!

You can lay your coat on the chair over there.   You can put your coat on the sofa over there.

     (This one is fine. Go ahead and use LAY.)   

You see, the word "lay" requires a direct object, just like the word "put" does. That means you must lay SOMETHING somewhere, just like you have to put SOMETHING somewhere. You can't just put.

    You can lay a baby in a crib.
    You can lay a coat on a chair.
    You can lay yourself down to sleep and pray the Lord your soul to keep.
    You can lay the book you just finished reading on the coffee table.

But you can't just lay. In the above sentences, the direct object (the thing you are putting or laying somewhere) is underlined.

*By "putting" I mean "placing," not the golf term.

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Advanced course

Yes, sadly, the simple past tense form of "lie" is "lay". So the sentence "Yesterday I lay on the sofa for three hours" is correct. But why would you want to admit that? Why would you tell people where you were lying yesterday? They don't care.

Less vs. fewer

With the words "less" and "fewer" we have another common mistake in American English. The problem is easily fixed and has only to do with singular and plural nouns.

Here's the rule:

Use "less" with singular nouns, and use "fewer" with plural nouns.

That's it. I can't think of an easier way to phrase that, nor can I think of any exceptions.

Examples of singular nouns:
  time
  money
  patience
  rain

Examples of plural nouns:
  hours
  coins
  patients
  storms

I have less time now than I did when I was young.

It seems like there are fewer hours in the day to accomplish my to-do list.

She has less money than he does.

I have fewer coins in my piggy bank than I did last week.

My mom has less patience than my dad.

If my doctor had fewer patients, I wouldn't have to wait so long.

We get less rain here than they get in Washington.

There are fewer storms on this side of the mountains. 

These two words are not interchangeable. You cannot have fewer time or less hours. I've not heard anyone make the first mistake, but the second is common.

Our neighbor has less fewer flowers in her garden this year than she did last year.

 See? Good grammar doesn't have to be difficult!

Present Perfect, Anyone?

I'm going to start by tackling my "favorite" error first to get it off my chest. Every time I hear this one, I want to run over a puppy with my lawn mower.

  I have went there many times.              have GONE
  She has already ran three marathons!   has RUN
  Have you wrote your essay yet?           have WRITTEN

The present perfect is used to indicate a past action that continues today or stopped recently. It's formed by combining the auxilliary verb "has" or "have" (depending on the subject of the sentence - the person who did the action) with the past participle of the verb. On this site, check out the "Note" on the right side to see how to form past participles.

The problem that has been gaining popularity in the U.S. has to do with irregular verbs. Irregular verbs are the ones that change form in the past tense rather than just adding an -ed, such as

drive - drove - (has) driven

write - wrote - (has) written 

go - went - (has) gone 

run - ran - (has) run 

Too many Americans have started using the second column words in the above list - which are the simple past tense forms - when they need the past participles. The simple past is used for an action that occurred and ended in the past.

I drove to the store yesterday.   (simple past tense)

If any of my first three examples sound ok to you, here is the error recreated with verbs that haven't been ruined yet, so you can hear what I hear:

I have did my homework.

We have knew each other for six years. 

She has took that test twice already. 

Have you saw the movie Idiocracy? 

Those sound horribly wrong to you, don't they?*  (Please say they do...)

Sadly, there is no pattern or rule for forming the past participles of irregular English verbs; one "just" needs to learn them. The good news is that you already learned them in grade school, so the work has been did done. (See what I did there?)

If you commonly - or even occasionally - say "I have went," "I should have went," or "I could have went," in the words of Bob Newhart...."STOP it!  Just STOP IT!" You're spreading crappy, rotten, polluted language.  Don't be a part of that.

I just thought of a way for you to check if you're using the correct form of most verbs. Add the word "been" between "have" and your verb. You're wondering if "have wrote" is correct. Add "been": "have been wrote" should sound awful, so you correct it to "have been written."  Therefore, use "have written."  This won't necessarily tell you what the correct form should be, but it will tell you what is wrong.  "The race has been ran," "They have been took," and "I have been went" should send up red flags. Take the time to check.

The above tip doesn't work with "come," but you should already know it's not "have came" because of the camp song "Oh, Susanna" with the line, "I have come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee..."



*Those red sentences above should be:
    I have done my homework.
    We have known each other for six years.
    She has taken that test twice already.
    Have you seen the movie Idiocracy?